7 Ways to Have a Pleasant Conversation with a Negative Person There are people who are always saying negative things. You know them. Maybe you work with them, or hang out with them. These people always seem to look at the world cynically. Unfortunately, dealing with negative people is part of our daily lives we must learn to cope with. Here are seven ways to deal with a negative thinker and get the topic back on track. 1. Empathize. When someone starts off negatively, recognize their pain and then move them toward another topic. You can respond with a heartfelt, "I'm so sorry to hear that." followed by a more positive suggestion, like, "Let's go get a cup of coffee and talk about the Wick project. I'd love to get your ideas." 2. Compliment. Without reinforcing the negative behavior, praise the person on how well they handled the situation. Say something like, "Wow, I'm impressed that you were able to solve the situation before it got out of hand." That can turn the conversation to a more positive one. 3. Commiserate. Perhaps you, too, have experienced what the negative person is upset about. Offer your version of the story, emphasizing a positive outcome. "I can see how upset you are that you car broke down this morning. The same thing happened to me last month, but I found this wonderful mechanic. Would you like his name?" 4. Repeat back. This is a tried-and-true method for reflecting back what you are hearing. You can say something like, "It sounds to me like you're sick and tired of being asked to serve on multiple committees. Is that correct?" And with that they might respond, "Oh, that's not what I meant," and then go on to provide a clearer explanation.

5. Offer to help. Perhaps the complaints are really a cry for help. Many people have a difficult time asking for help, believing that they will come off as weak or ineffective. They may couch their need in negativity. If you're willing and available, make the offer. 6. Change the subject. Validate what you've just heard and move on to a more positive topic. Say something like, "I'm so sorry to hear about your disagreement with Tom. I hope you can resolve your differences. What are you and your family going to do this weekend?" 7. Refuse to engage. If you're tired of being someone's counselor, set some boundaries and don't get caught up in the drama. Be diplomatic and maintain a neutral tone (without anger, frustration, or reaction). Say something like "Isn't that interesting?" or "Is that so?" Don't spend a great deal of time listening to someone rattle on about everything that's wrong in his or her life. If you're at work, say something like "I'm sorry to hear that. I really have to get back to my project now." If the person continues, be ready to get stronger. Stand up, create more space between you, and begin to move away.